The Gulf Between Knowing and Becoming

The Role of Emotions on Our Path to Realizing Our Potential

Written by: Michael Tighe, PsyD Student

One subtle but powerful nuance of human psychology is the difference between explicit and tacit knowledge. We can memorize every part of a car engine in an afternoon but intuitively understanding how those parts work together takes far longer. The same goes for reading about perfecting a golf swing versus actually swinging like a pro.

As adults, we can get used to frictionless efforts. Gainful employment often requires this type of expectation, where our confidence is well earned after countless hours honing our chosen skills. With the predictable routines that make up our lives, it becomes easy to forget how hard it was to tie our shoes, ride a bike, or learn any skill that initially felt awkward. Because it feels good to do things we’re already good at, it’s easy to avoid areas where we feel clumsy or unsure, especially if we’re used to environments where any weakness, no matter how trivial, can feel like a threat to our identity or competence.

We all know we should avoid sugar, exercise consistently, or meditate to reduce the cortisol that accumulates from daily stress. We have endless access to this type of implicit knowledge but knowing something is good for us does not mean we can easily do it. The painful irony of meditation is that those who would benefit most from it often struggle the most doing it. Meditation, like emotional growth, is a tacit skill. It requires practice, patience, and support, not willpower or more information.

This gap between what we know and what we can embody can feel especially wide when it comes to our emotions. Flight statistics may bolster enough resolve to satisfy the rational side of ourselves to deem fear unnecessary as we wait for takeoff. It is another type of knowing entirely to fly without fear.

Victor Frankl famously spoke of the existential freedom available in the space between stimulus and response. Research supports his stance that, over time, we can build the capacity to become more aware of previously unconscious patterns, notice our internal reactions, and choose a new path. This freedom can act as a salve to the painful experience of cognitive dissonance, when we act in ways that don’t align with our values. The Centre for MindBody Health supports clients in this process through research-backed techniques grounded in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Emotion Focused Therapy, and other mindfulness practices. Grounded in humanistic principles, these approaches make therapy a collaborative and transparent process, helping clients strengthen the emotional skills and inner capacity needed to move from knowing what they want to truly living it.