Coming Out and Mental Health

Navigating the Process at Your Own Pace

Written by: Elisha Galit, MA Candidate

Coming out is often described as a key milestone in 2SGBTQIA+ identity development but the process is not always straightforward. For some, coming out strengthens well-being; for others, it can increase stress. Access to mental health resources and supportive therapists matters in helping people exploring identity and live authentically at whatever pace feels right.

What Does “Coming Out” Mean?

“Coming out” refers to the self-disclosure of sexual, romantic, or gender identity. It usually follows earlier stages of self-awareness and self-identification. On average, LGB+ individuals recognize same-sex attraction around ages 12–13, self-identify by 17–18, and disclose to others around 19–20. Still, there is no universal timeline; cultural background, gender, race, and social context all shape these milestones. It is also important to note that much of this research has focused on younger LGB populations, with less attention to broader 2SGBTQIA+ identities.

Mental Health and Coming Out

The mental health effects of coming out depend heavily on responses from others. Research by Charbonnier and Graziani (2016) note that two common stressors related to coming out are fear of hurting family members and limited coping resources. Delaying disclosure and concealing one’s identity is linked to feelings of dishonesty, distance, and depressive symptoms.

The minority stress model explains how minoritized groups deal with added stress due to prejudice, rejection, and discrimination and the impact this can have on their well-being. Coming out can add another layer to this stress, especially when there is risk of judgment or rejection. Parental rejection, for example, has been linked to anxiety, depression, and even higher suicide rates.

The Importance of Acceptance and Support

On the other hand, acceptance can strengthen resilience, self-esteem, and overall well-being by providing a sense of belonging and safety. When people feel accepted, they are able to express themselves without fear, which significantly reduces stress and supports mental health. That’s why supportive counsellors, mental health resources, information campaigns, peer support groups, and online communities are so valuable; they create affirming spaces.

Everyone’s Coming Out Journey Is Unique

Coming out looks different for everyone. Some people disclose widely, others selectively, and some never come out at all. Coming out is one part of identity development and not a requirement for authenticity. Whether you choose to disclose, delay, or keep your identity private, your experience is valid.

If you would like support navigating this process with care, safety, and confidence, I invite you to book a session with me.

For references for further reading, see below.

References

Charbonnier, E., & Graziani, P. (2016). The stress associated with the coming out process in the young adult population. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, 20(4), 319–328. https://doi.org/10.1080/19359705.2016.1182957

Hall, W. J., Dawes, H. C., & Plocek, N. (2021). Sexual Orientation Identity Development Milestones Among Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Queer People: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 753954. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.753954

Sahoo S, Venkatesan V, Chakravarty R. (2023). ‘Coming out’/self-disclosure in LGBTQ+ adolescents and youth: International and Indian scenario – A narrative review of published studies in the last decade (2012-2022). Indian J Psychiatry, 65(10), 1012-1024. https://doi.org/10.4103/indianjpsychiatry.indianjpsychiatry_486_23.